Here you will find my review of James Bauer’s product called His Secret Obsession.
What will I address and share about in this his secret obsession review that you are about to read?
- What His Secret Obsession is
- Who James Bauer is
- The hero instinct and why it’s not narcissism
- The pros of His Secret Obsession
- The cons of His Secret Obsession
- Do I recommend His Secret Obsession or not and to whom?
- A summary of everything discussed in the review
Are you ready to learn all you can about His Secret Obsession by James Bauer?
My full review is available below.
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Who Is James Bauer?
James Bauer is a relationship coach and expert who is the creator of three different programs, and His Secret Obsession is his latest, and best one according to my own biased opinion.
He claims to have helped thousands of women, and even if it is impossible to say whether that is the truth or not, the information he shares is mind-boggling.
Besides His Secret Obsession, James has also released What Men Secretly Want and Relationship Rewrite Method.
I will talk more about his latest program after I address a second question that might be on your mind right now.
Is James Bauer Real?
Honestly, I am not 100% sure that he is real.
However, the information that I have uncovered so far seems that he might be a real human being.
Even if he’s made up, the information inside of His Secret Obsession is fantastic and I was helped by it.
Of course, since I bought into his program, and it did help me, I am biased. I do acknowledge that.
The reason why I am not sure whether James Bauer is a real person or not, is because I haven’t found a lot of biographical information on him online, or even a photo of him.
I don’t know about you, but to me, the most important thing is the quality of the information, as well as how the information is presented, and whether it works or not. All three elements are fulfilled with excellency, in my opinion.
His Secret Obsession Is About the Hero Instinct
The program is built on the promise that to make a man treat you like a woman, you need to make him your hero.
Even if this might sound like he’s a narcissist to some women, it is NOT, and I will explain why to you.
His Secret Obsession talks extensively about something that James Bauer refers to as “The Hero Instinct”.
The Hero Instinct is something that has ancient origins.
If you ever have heard about James Campbell’s book “The hero with a thousand faces”, you know what it is all about.
If you don’t know what I’m referring to, it is a book that compares a lot of ancient sources, that talks about a hero’s journey, and I will give you an example, so it does become a little bit easier for you to understand it.
Think about your favourite book or film, while you read the table below. I think that you can identify all the different segments in it. That’s why I explain the different sections.
| The Ordinary World | The hero lives his ordinary life. Your everyday life with your husband. |
| The Call to Adventure | Something happens that makes him go out on an adventure. You need him to help you with something. |
| Refusal of the Call | The hero doesn’t think he’s worthy, so he heeds. Your husband refuses to do the only thing you asked him to do or does it poorly. |
| Meeting the Mentor | He meets the one who will show him what to do. He becomes confident that he can do it. |
| Crossing the First Threshold | He overcomes his anxiety, and finally realise what he needs to do, and how to do it. He gives you flowers as an excuse. |
| Test, Allies, Enemies | The hero meets his allies and his enemy and faces many trials along the way. Your husband might have to explain to your parents why he hasn’t done it, or to you. He will meet a lot of perils before he finally will understand it. Did you know that men need to hear something at least seven times before they will do it, while we women do it ASAP? That is the reason why you need to tell him to do it many times. |
| Approach the Innermost Cave | He needs to understand how to be romantic to you and love you the way you want to be loved. |
| The Ordeal | The final battle between good and evil. He goes through things that he doesn’t want to go through, but ultimately understands what he has done wrong, and comes out on the other side with new insights. |
| The Reward | The hero discovers the truth and gets the reward. Your husband will feel like a hero when you tell him that you love him. |
| The Road Block | He might pull away for a short time. It is normal for him to do so, which I discussed before. |
| The Resurrection | He comes back with a new understanding of how he actually can show you his love. |
| Return with the Elixir | He finally knows how to treat you the right way, and give you the relationship you deserve. |
The Hero Instinct and Why It Is Not Narcissism
In one way, it is a bit sexist, since it focuses on the man only.
However, since this seems to be how men think, and it’s still most likely that he paid for your first date. Doesn’t he deserve to feel like a hero at least a little bit?
The hero instinct covers your man’s three basic needs, which are:
- Sex
- Hunger
- Thirst
Sometimes it is also a good idea to boost his ego, since he is a man, and his ego is pretty fragile.
Here is something I have learned myself: Give him what he wants, and he will give you what you want.
It is true in all human relationships when you think about it.
That is the reason why it does not focus so much on his emotional sides, since even if he has emotions, and are not as talkative as a woman, it is just the psychological makeup of a man which James covers extensively in this book.
Since this is the His Secret Obsession review, I now want to share some pros and cons with you.
His Secret Obsession Pros
The biggest pro is that the method works and all it takes are a couple of words.
Another pro is that it will help you strengthen a relationship, and make him more ready to make a commitment to you and your relationship.
Here is something I have noticed that most other books do not cover, since they only focus on you.
Of course, as a woman myself, I find it hard to understand why James Bauer doesn’t focus more on us women. But his book does give you clear insights on what the primal instincts are in the man you love, and how to satisfy them.
Even if a man is not the provider any longer, he still think that he needs to be the man who provides safety for you.
Think about your relationship as a private island where the two of you are the only inhabitants.
From time to time it might be scary, but at the same time it is very exciting. You might not like it, but the more you will encourage him, the more love he will show you.
That is where the damsel in distress signal comes into play.
A man loves to help women out, no matter if it is a big thing or a small thing. For instance, he might want to help you change your tires.
James would say: Let him do it and I do agree with it. I let my husband do things that I could do myself every now and then.
That makes him fall more deeply in love with you, and I have seen it work in my relationship.
Now, if you recently went through a breakup, you will appreciate the ex-back signals that may help you get him back, if that is something you want, of course.
A man never wants to open up to you unless he feels secure about it. That was probably my biggest takeaway from reading this book. It is something that James calls the “I own you”-signal.
It might sound like you manipulate him a bit, and even if that might be a huge obstacle to you, it is like I told you before.
When you give him what he wants, you need to get him what he wants, which is security, sex, and safety, aka the three S’es.
His Secret Obsession Cons
- One of the negative things that I have found with His Secret Obsession is that it is only available as a digital version. Of course, you can print it if you prefer to read it as a physical booklet.
- Another thing that you might have trouble with is that His Secret Obsession forces you out of your comfort zone. However, I have often discovered myself that getting outside of your comfort zone is usually required to get the results you desire.
- If you don’t like to manipulate him to make him do things you want, then His Secret Obsession is NOT for you.
Those are the only negative things that I have found.
Do I Recommend His Secret Obsession or Not and to Whom?
I recommend it to women who are in a committed relationship but feels like you are stuck.
If you feel like that, I would definitely recommend it.
I also think that it is not good for women under 35, since you might not have the time you need to make it work in your relationship, especially not if you have young children. I only found the time myself to make it work when my children’s grandparents offered to babysit so that me and my husband could get some much needed couple-time together.
However, if you have older children or no children, it might be the perfect fit for you.
It also works if you are a single woman right now, and want to get a relationship with a man.
Remember it shares a lot of valuable insights into the male mind.
I hope you have found a lot of valuable information in my review, which I do not normally do.
Are you not 100% sure that His Secret Obsession is for you after reading my review?
A Summary of His Secret Obsession
Here are a summary of His Secret Obsession by James Bauer.
Good for: Women, single or in a relationship over the age of 35 who wants to get some valuable insights into the male mind.
Bad for: Men, and women under the age of 35.
Do I recommend it? Yes, since it has worked for me.
DISCLOSURE: Melanie will earn a commission if you decide to purchase it through her link. She will use the money to support this blog and to buy some food for her family of four (two children, Melanie, and her husband).
Have you already made up your mind and are ready to buy?
